A while back, I came across Beloved by Francis Chan at just the right time. For some time, something had felt off in my faith. I found myself looking back to the early days and longing for that same closeness with God. As my understanding of doctrine grew, so did the disconnect between what I knew my relationship with God should look like and what I was actually experiencing. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why until a sermon series at church and this book helped me see it.

Chan writes about a struggle he carried for years. After decades of pastoring and teaching, he could explain God’s love but still struggled to rest in it. As a high schooler, he had been secure in what Christ had done for him. He didn’t analyze his faith; he just enjoyed knowing Jesus. But in Bible college, he and his friends were trained to examine themselves so constantly that they wondered whether they had truly made Jesus Lord of their lives. They spent so much time questioning whether they loved Jesus enough that they lost sight of how much He loved them.

I saw a lot of myself in that. I believe Jesus is Lord over every part of my life, but somewhere along the way I started relating to God more like a slave trying to please his master than a son who knows he is loved by his Father. I knew my acceptance rested on what Jesus had done, not on what I could do for Him, but I wasn’t living that way. I kept measuring myself against what I thought God expected, and when I fell short, I struggled to feel secure in His love.

Chan helped me see how easily we get so caught up in whether we’re doing enough for God that we forget what He has already done for us. As 1 John 4:19 says, we love because He first loved us. Chan writes, “It’s His love that makes us want His lordship” (p. 23). That stuck with me. I hadn’t been wrong to take Jesus’ lordship seriously. I had lost sight of the love behind it.

I still have to fight the temptation to question whether I measure up. But there is real freedom in remembering that it isn’t about what I can do for God but what He has already provided. I don’t have to ignore my failures or pretend I have it all together. I can acknowledge where I fall short without wondering whether His love has changed, and I can pursue obedience because I belong to Him, not to prove that I do. That shift is changing how I show up as a husband, father, pastor, and friend. I’ve spent so much energy trying to be enough, when what I needed was to rest in the fact that, because of Jesus, I am already loved.

If you’ve found yourself wondering whether you’re doing enough, or whether God is disappointed in you, I’d encourage you to read this book. Sometimes we get so focused on loving God well that we forget to receive His love for us. Beloved was a timely reminder that I don’t have to earn my place as His child. I can simply live as one.

Amazon link: Click here.